Always, I Will

I think about it sometimes…
And always I will…
It’s not as if I’ve lost my mind…
I’ve only lost how to feel…

The feel to understand it all…
And always I will…
Temporary sanity took the fall…
Behind it left, nothing is real…

Nothing real, is how all feels to me…
And always I will…
Thoughts into actions, each robs a dream…
A troubled mind, it knows how to steal

Away, I’ll let it steal the time that I want…
And always I will…
Still aware of the nothing, in which I had sought…
An emptiness there, and ready to deal… 

A deal reluctantly, I’ll show it the way
And always I will…
The sordid motives, each one seizes my day
Carpe diem, though this diem won’t heal…

To heal is something that I always long for…
And always I will…
Beaten and battered, as life shows me the door…
Oh- as deranged as it sounds, I always enjoy the thrill…