Moments of Control

Oh- the weight, the weight and what it could do
As my soul would severely suffer, hideously an ugly bruise
The sting of my salty tears, often a melancholy excuse
My obsessive thoughts- they ruled, always a muse
Responsible they were, for me, and this tumultuous ruse

With my mind being absurd, absent the guidance role
A day wasn’t there, none anyway, upon which I could control
Crutches, I had, they could always lighten my load
Acting only by proxy, it was often hastily that I chose
To enjoy this hour, this life, and each moment, as it rose

Each day, I’d swallow a poison, it would often give me relief
Putting order back to my chaos, and my head back at ease
Shambles and turmoil, forever, oh- it shall always be king
Day after day, night after night, and when I would sleep
I’d learn to give in to the insanities, and the things that it needs